4 Ways You’re Doing Better Than You Think
If you’ve been feeling discouraged lately, I want to point out some of the ways you may be doing better than you think you are.
1. You’ve already survived hard times.
When you look back at your younger self, you can say, “I made it. I did it. I got through that and not only survived it but also have come out stronger, more resourced, and wiser than before.”
Make a list of the challenges and hard times that you’ve already survived and grown through. Take some time today to appreciate the inner strength and resilience that brought you here today.
2. You’re designed for growth and evolution.
You are not the same person today that you were a year ago. You’re evolving, growing, learning, and healing all the time. Look at how far you’ve come in just this last year.
Make a list of all the things you know now that you didn’t know know a year ago. Notice, name, and celebrate your progress.
3. You’re skilled at protecting yourself.
You protected yourself when you were younger and more vulnerable. You’ve developed multiple defenses and protective strategies to buffer the pain, numb out when you needed to, and distract yourself from what felt intolerable. You can fight if you’re cornered, and you can detach and disengage from things that hurt you.
Make a list of all your defenses and protective maneuvers. Release your judgment of them and instead honor all the self-protective strategies you have available to you should you need them in a crisis.
4. You know how to nurture, heal, and grow yourself up.
You also know when to stop fighting and defending and instead how to heal, grow, and reconnect. You left old situations and found safer ones. You’re finding new people: more empathic people, healers, guides, teachers, friends, and companions. You’re learning to feel again, to regulate your nervous system again, to soothe yourself. You’re practicing self-compassion and self-empathy. You’re waking up to your socialization and becoming a conscious co-creator of your life, beginning with yourself. You’re listening to your inner wisdom, and you’re balancing rest with stretching into new capacities.
Take some time today to celebrate how far you’ve come on your journey through life. List the ways in which you’ve protected yourself, helped yourself, healed yourself, and nurtured yourself.
List all the communities and people who have showed up in your life to embrace, nurture, and support you along the way: Who all have been significant sources of support and healing for you?
Notice the support that is available to you now.
Create space today to take in all the ways that you are doing better than you may realize, and recognize all the strength and wisdom already inherent in your beautiful being. Allow your hard-won strength and insights to resource and fortify you.
Looking for a supportive, empathic, and growth-oriented community for learning and practice? Consider joining my free weekly calls, Conversations from the Heart. We meet every Wednesday at 10am CT via Zoom. Click here to learn more.
Dr. Yvette Erasmus is a psychologist, teacher, and consultant who specializes in transformative education for human healing and growth. Synthesizing mind-body medicine, somatic experiencing, diversity and inclusiveness, nonviolent communication, and integral-relational-cultural psychology, Dr. Erasmus offers various programs for community learning as well as one-on-one consulting. To learn more, visit yvetteerasmus.com.
