Do you have authority issues? I know that I do. I have a rebellious spirit, but I’m also a habitual people-pleaser. I find myself swinging between not wanting to participate in systems as they exist and trying earnestly to fit in and find a place of belonging and safety. The…

As I sit down to write to you this week, I don’t even know where to begin. Every time I try to get my thoughts together to write something cohesive, practical, or useful about how current events intersect with our personal growth and collective evolution, I’m flooded with overwhelm, despair…

Have you ever tried a new communication strategy and the other person respond in the same way as they usually do, and then you concluded that your efforts “didn’t work”? Me too. Then, I remind myself that change often happens beneath the surface, and not to jump to hasty conclusions…

“How did the rose ever open its heart, and give to this world all of its beauty? It felt the encouragement of light against its being; otherwise we all remain too frightened.” –Hafiz I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how our relationships are the crucibles within which many of…

Unexpected things can happen when we ask for help. My lawn has been turning into a wild field of lush wavy grass. Noticing that all other lawns on my street have been neatly manicured and trimmed, I tried to start the lawnmower last week. No luck. Following some bizarre inner…

Think of the big moves you have already made, from a single cell to a human being. Stay light footed, and keep moving. — Rumi Sometimes, self-improvement work becomes reduced to yet another form of internalized oppression. When I’ve been asked in the past to put together a “stress-reduction” program…

The second time I got expelled, it was for my defiant noncompliance with “hazing” rituals at a boarding school in South Africa. I was 13 and taking on the world. I would not wear the winter uniform in the height of an African summer. I would not carry seniors’ book…

On Sunday, I spent a luxuriously lazy day on my couch reading books, cuddling with my cats, hearing rumbles of thunder and drippy raindrops, drinking multiple cups of coconut chai tea. Heaven. Truly. But every now and then, a twinge of guilt and self-recrimination crept in: “I should really go…

How do you know if all the learning, growing, therapy, and healing work you’re doing is actually working? When it comes to inside stuff, how do we track our progress? …