Living in a State of Suspended Animation — Dr. Yvette Erasmus
Living in a state of suspended animation, I’m unsure where exactly to direct my attention and energies from day to day.
Outward?
I scan through daily news channels, blogs, online programs.
Talk to friends about how they are holding up, the challenges we’re facing, the unknowns.
I help my daughter with her online school work.
I organize those drawers I never did get to before.
I browse through old photo albums, with mixed feelings.
Inward?
I sense into …. my dis-ease, unsettledness.
The relief I feel in a world slowed down, the dread that quickly follows.
How much I enjoy sleeping in.
How much I worry that without external constraints, I may just stay in bed all day.
Horrified at that thought. Secretly delighted, too.
Part of me seems to be waiting for the other shoe to drop … slightly on edge while feeling mostly just fine.
I watch the woodpeckers land on the bird feeder, grateful for the distraction from my thoughts.
Grateful for the reminder that life goes on in the natural world.
My mind scans through various possible apocalyptic situations and wondering if I have enough batteries in my house.
A scornful, dismissive inner voice tells me I’m blowing things out of proportion, feeding the drama.
Another voice counters — things are actually worse than they seem — it just hasn’t arrived at my personal doorstep yet.
The perpetual drip of propaganda, peacocking, posturing and double-speak erodes my spirit, leaves me raw and disoriented.
What I pay attention to matters.I long to rest in the truth of whatever is real. Somethings feed and nourish my soul. Others drain my life force. I pay attention to the difference.
I don’t have answers “out there,” so I’ll take charge of what’s “in here.”
- Making peace with suffering, without becoming complacent
- Making peace with discomfort, without becoming apathetic
- Making peace with the unknown, without losing touch with my deep vision of a compassion-based, connected world that works for all people.
Grounding myself in internal truths, I set some intentions for this week, and commit to:
More than ever, let’s remember to…
Care for ourselves responsibly
Lighten one another’s load
Be kind to one another
Practice patience
And, my favorite … look for purpose, meaning and grace in every moment.
FYI: My weekly practice and learning group has moved online, and anyone looking to learn and connect is welcome.
During this time of social distancing, we’ll meet on Wednesdays via Zoom video conference.
Wednesdays April 1, 8, 15, 22, 29
10am -12noon CST Minneapolis
8am — 10am California
11am-1pm New York
3pm-5pm London
4pm-6pm Denmark
7pm-9pm Dubai
If you’d like to join this Wednesday, register to join us here. Requested donation is $25, but you can pay whatever amount you wish, or simply attend for free.
Originally published at https://www.yvetteerasmus.com on March 30, 2020.
